RIP Christina and Pulse victims

The day after I wrote my last blog post, Christina Grimmie died from a gun shot wound after being shot by a reportedly “obsessive fan” at a meet and greet.

I did not follow her much but I did know of her. She started on YouTube and made her way up to doing concerts for large crowds. She was also friends with some of the celebrities I like. But that’s pretty much all I knew about her.

Then, I found out she was 22. Wow, same age as me. Really made me think. Anything could happen at any time. I go to pop concerts all the time too. And my favourite artists travel the world all the time too. It’s scary to think about.

Celebrity deaths really don’t faze me as much as they should. But even though I didn’t listen to Christina, this one hit me; I felt a closer connection with her.

I started to follow her vigils/memorials online to learn more about her. She seemed like an amazing girl.

The morning after her death, I woke up and as usual, check my phone. That’s when I found out about the Orlando shootings. I was heartbroken, devestated and also scared.

I had major anxiety for the next few days and all I really wanted to do was see my best friend, hug her and never let go. My separation anxiety got bad again. Because anything could happen at any time. I still haven’t seen her but will in a couple days.

But I was internally freaking out. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I was a part of the LGBT community. I’ve been lucky with the support and have had nothing to be afraid of until recently. But even though, we have people who don’t approve and hate us, I still have my pride. I will continue to stand up for what I believe in and show my pride for as long as I’m alive, no matter how scary it might be. So despite my anxiety, I went to the vigil in my ¬†city the next day. The LGBT community has to keep standing together. I was not going to stop because one person committed a horrible crime, and I hope no one else will either.

My heart cracks a little more every time I read another article or watch another videos about Christina or the Pulse victims. I decided I am going to get an LGBT tattoo¬†in honour of the LGBT community and in memory of the Orlando victims. I don’t know what, where, or when but I know it will mean a lot to me, as well as the community.

It was a weekend no one will ever forget.

RIP Christina Grimmie and the Pulse victims:

Edward Sotomayor Jr.

Stanley Almodovar III

Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo

Juan Ramon Guerrero

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz

Luis S. Vielma

Kimberly Morris

Eddie Jamoldroy Justice

Darryl Roman Burt II

Deonka Deidra Drayton

Alejandro Barrios Martinez

Anthony Luis Laureano Disla

Jean Carlos Mendez Perez

Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez

Martin Benitez Torres

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon

Mercedez Marisol Flores

Amanda Alvear

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez

Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez

Oscar A Aracena-Montero

Enrique L. Rios, Jr.

Miguel Angel Honorato

Javier Jorge-Reyes

Joel Rayon Paniagua

Jason Benjamin Josaphat

Cory James Connell

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez

Luis Daniel Conde

Shane Evan Tomlinson

Juan Chavez Martinez

Jerald Arthur Wright

Leroy Valentin Fernandez

Tevin Eugene Crosby

Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega

Jean Carlos Nieves Rodriguez

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala

Brenda Lee Marquez McCool

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan

Christopher Andrew Leinonen

Angel L. Candelario-Padro

Frank Hernandez Escalante

Paul Terrell Henry

Antonio Davon Brown

Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz

Akyra Monet Murray

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez


No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever God you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it’s all the same love
About time that we raised up.

And I can’t change
Even if I tried, even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm.




Jessica Victoria
<p>Jessica Victoria, 24, is a writer and advocate for mental health, disability and LGBTQ+. She uses her personal experiences and knowledge to help and educate others.</p>

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