Mental Health

People change


In my one of my last few blog posts, I answered the question “what is my biggest fear?” I wrote about how I have a fear of losing friends, or someone changing on me. It has happened quite a few times. People change and distance themselves from me unexpectedly, whenever they please. I’m sure this happens to the most of us. Someone can change their personality and leave you hanging, or you leave them because they turned into someone else; someone that you can’t/don’t want to be friends with.

They don’t realize how much it affects the people they’re close with. It’s a loss for us; we lose a best friend when they change. We miss them. We miss the person they used to be. We wish we could change them back, or that they will change back for us. But in reality, they won’t. You can’t make someone change.

How do you deal with it? Well first you just have to accept it then you can grieve.

Accepting something doesn’t always mean that it doesn’t bother you. I used to think once you accept something, it doesn’t bother you any more. But I’ve learned over the years that accepting something is the first step to grieving.

If you don’t accept something, you probably will spend all your time trying to change the person or situation. You probably will spend time hoping the person or situation will change. Don’t do this. It will get your hopes up, and it will probably end in disappointment. If someone has changed in the first place, regardless of your feelings, they likely won’t go back to the person they were for you.

After you accept something, you can do whatever you have to do to grieve. Cry, scream, throw something, talk to someone. Do this for however long you need to. Unfortunately, it may take a really long time to get over it, or you may never get over it.

I can’t sweat this enough….Don’t ignore your feelings! Feel however you need to feel, whether its sad, depressed, angry, frustrated. And talk to someone and be honest with them!

Then you can move on and live your life. I truly believe that once something ends, something else will take its place. That something else may be even better. Everything happens for a reason. Find that reason.

Like I’ve said, I’ve been through this before. It sucks. Memories of them made me want to cry. But I had to move on with my life, or else I would still be miserable. I accepted it, I grieved, and now I’m okay without them.

Stay strong lovelies <3

Jessica Victoria
<p>Jessica Victoria, 24, is a writer and advocate for mental health, disability and LGBTQ+. She uses her personal experiences and knowledge to help and educate others.</p>

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