An Open Letter To The Guy Who Broke My Best Friend’s Heart

To the guy who broke my best friend’s heart,

It’s been awhile since we last talked. There are so many things I’ve been wanting to say for a really long time; but I never got a chance to, until now. My friend and I have both been healing and moving on with our lives.

I didn’t want to write this when we were still hurt because I didn’t want this to be from a POV of someone who was broken and looking for revenge.

I’m doing well. I’m really enjoying Journalism and writing for the paper. I have a column in every edition and receive a lot of compliments on them. I am happy, independent, and love my life.

The first thing I wanted to note is that when you hurt her, you also hurt me. You didn’t realize that, did you?

We were all friends before you two started dating. I always wanted a best guy friend, and I felt like I had one for life. But then, as time passed, I started to realize that I was more of an obligation than a friend. You felt obligated to be my friend because I was hers.

How do I know? After you left her, you didn’t even bother to try and talk to me, and you ignored me when I saw you at school. It was like all of our fun times meant nothing to you. I meant nothing to you, because she wasn’t in the picture for you anymore.

I probably wouldn’t have sided with you, but it would’ve been the thought that counted. I thought I was worth more than a thumbs up when I saw you and your “sad” face at your Graduation. HER Graduation.

Also, the fact that your whole personality changed overnight really felt like punch in the stomach, too. The sweet, funny guy I knew was gone right before my eyes. I missed him, and I had to go on pretending like he never existed. But the pain you caused me was nothing compared to what you did to my best friend.

I knew from the start that you were trouble. Even when you and I were friends, I knew you weren’t cut out to be someone’s boyfriend. I didn’t say anything. Maybe I should have, but I’m not sure if it would’ve changed anything. Sometimes we lose ourselves when we love someone and get completely blinded by them. It happens to the most of us.

Now I don’t know much about your relationship, but I remember how you stole her from me. I rarely saw her, and even when I did, you were there. I rarely talked to her, and even when I did, it was like I was talking to you too. Her pronouns started changing from I to we. She was losing her independence little by little, and getting sucked in to you. I’m not blaming her because like I said, it happens to the most of us. But I am blaming YOU.

Every time you broke up with her, it was really hard, for both me and her; but mostly her. She would talk to me until the early hours of the morning. She would come over the next day, sit on my bed and cry her eyes out as I held her and tried to search for words to make her feel better. I felt helpless because you broke her. She started blaming herself. She started to feel worthless. She started saying she deserved what you were doing to her. It pained me to hear her say all those things. It pained me to see her crying. I have no idea how you could do this: let go of the most amazing thing that could ever happen to you.

The first time you broke up with her it was over text message. After a week of silence. Right after hanging out with her and assuring her that everything was okay. Are your balls really that small?

I lost track of how many times she went back to you. Each time I prayed you wouldn’t hurt her again, but you always did. She always ended up crying in my arms. I’m not complaining; I was always there for her. She just shouldn’t have been crying to begin with.

What the hell is fucking wrong with you?!

This girl is amazing. This girl is the most beautiful, intelligent, mature, caring human being I’ve ever met.

She’s probably the best you could ever do.

I’ve heard every story. You took advantage, you lied to her, you yelled at her. You bullied her. You got mad if she didn’t have sex with you. You got mad when she was texting someone. You left her in the middle of the night, or early in the morning, before she woke up.

Your sick, twisted mind found a way to make her feel like shit, to make her feel bad about herself, to make her feel useless. Your sick mind always found a way to make her keep going back to you.

When you guys were officially over, I let out a huge sigh of relief knowing that you couldn’t hurt her anymore. She deserved better. She didn’t deserve you.

I wouldn’t wish you on my worst enemy.

The funniest, stupidest insult you have given her is that she’s immature. Take a close look at yourself.

Last time I checked 25 year olds don’t throw pizza and chicken out the window and yell because you wouldn’t believe your girlfriend was texting her Mom. 25 year olds don’t whine and pout when they don’t get their way. 25 year olds don’t live off of their parents.

I’m four years younger than you. I’m much more mature than you and have done so much more with my life than you have.

Your insecurities are the most pathetic thing I could ever witness. Your happiness is primarily based on your dick size, or how quickly you come. You went on antidepressants for the sole purpose to improve your sex life. You were probably fine, but you always took your insecurities out on her.

Did you hurt her because you were never loved? Because you’re immature? Because you have insecurities?

Just because you’ve been hurt before, doesn’t make it ok to hurt someone else.

Just because you think you’re bad in bed doesn’t make your actions and words acceptable.

Just because you have a huge ego and think you can get any girl you want doesn’t mean that you can act like it.

Nothing does.

I replaced you after you left for the last time. I helped heal her. We laughed and cried. We watched movies and danced like no one was watching. I spent a lot of time with her after you left. I was there to make sure she had some fun. I was there if she needed to rant or cry. And I was there if she needed someone to hold. She’s the most fun person to be around and she’s hilarious. It’s hard to think anyone would ever leave her.

She has a new boyfriend now. He’s really nice and treats her well. He lets her be her own person. He hasn’t stolen her from me and probably never will. He’s 10 times the man you will ever be. He’s pissed at you, too, so watch out.

I hope you read this and feel embarrassed. I hope you read this and hurt when you realize exactly what you’re missing. Maybe it will hit you and you will change for the next girl who comes into your miserable life.

But if I ever run into you again, I swear it won’t be pleasant.

Jessica Victoria
<p>Jessica Victoria, 24, is a writer and advocate for mental health, disability and LGBTQ+. She uses her personal experiences and knowledge to help and educate others.</p>

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