About a month ago, I broke up with my first boyfriend. I was only with him for two weeks, but it was hard. He didn’t make it easy on me, either. He harassed me over text and tried to manipulate me into staying with him. Looking back, I think he was a little manipulative during the relationship, too.
Even though it only lasted two weeks, I had a lot of healing to do. Not only was he my first boyfriend, but I was also left a little traumatized by the nature of the breakup. Because of that, it’s going to take a little longer for me to process it and heal, which brings me to my first point.
Take your time to heal.
It might take a while, and that’s okay. Even though I’m pretty much over the breakup (see #8), I’m not over the way that he treated me and the hurtful things that he said. In fact, like I said before, it caused me to be a little traumatized. He caused some damage that’s going to take a while to recover from.
Feel all of the feels and let it out.
I felt a whole bunch of emotions and still continue to. After our last argument, I just felt numb. Then, over the next couple of weeks, I felt sad, mad, relieved, lonely and happy. A lot of the time, I felt more than one of those feelings at once. Sometimes, I felt all of them at once.
Know that your feelings and thoughts are valid.
Hate their guts one second then miss them the next? It’s okay! Still upset after you thought you were over it? That’s okay. Have regrets? That’s okay, too. Whatever you feel is okay. Just don’t beat yourself up over something that you did. Instead, take them and learn from them.
Stay away from your triggers.
There will be things that trigger flashbacks or negative thoughts/feelings about the situation. One thing that triggered me badly into a full-blown panic attack was a scene from a show that I was watching. So, I stopped watching that series. Make a mental (or physical) list of those things and try your best to stay away from them.
Be around people who love you.
These people will make you feel happy and safe. My best friend lets me talk, rant and express all of my emotions as much as I want to. She has listened, given me advice and encouragement, and made me laugh. She has just been there for me. She has made me smile when I didn’t want to. We all need a best friend like her during times like this. It helps us feel less alone. It helps us realize what we are worth and what we deserve. They show us the way that we deserve to be treated.
Practice and prioritize self-love and self-care.
Be your own best friend, too. Do things that make you happy and take care of yourself. It’s possible that you didn’t prioritize these things when you were in the relationship, so make sure that you do so now.
Take a break from dating.
It’s best to just stay away from any dating situation whatsoever. You may still be emotionally drained, so you’ll benefit from taking time to just work on getting your strength back.
Come to terms with the fact that it’s probably for the best.
Even though I was sad about the breakup and there are things that I miss, I know that I did the right thing. The way he reacted, and even how he was toward the end of the relationship, said a lot about him and what our relationship would’ve been like if I had stayed. So, sometimes the best thing to do is leave and never go back.